


Dreams And Sorrows

by Gaysuke_Takahashi



Category: Initial D
Genre: Anal Fingering, M/M, Masturbation, Not Beta Read, Onesided, Pining, So felt like gotta add a little more to this, That's what Gou thinks, Unrequited Love, Yearning, someone save this boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:00:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22631470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gaysuke_Takahashi/pseuds/Gaysuke_Takahashi
Summary: Gou had never expected to see Ryousuke again.All those thoughts he repressed years ago, have returned just like Ryousuke.
Relationships: Hojo Gou/Takahashi Ryousuke, onesided - Relationship
Kudos: 12





	Dreams And Sorrows

**Author's Note:**

> This was written by an ace boy who has no idea how masturbating works. Whoops

He should've been prepared when he went to see Project D practicing. But the moment he laid his eyes on Ryousuke, everything he had been trying to repress the past few years came back with a vengeance. He had been much younger back when he had first met Ryousuke on a circuit. He looked so carefree and pretty… Everytime his brother brought Ryousuke with him, Gou could feel his heart wanting to be with Ryousuke more and more. When they had to part ways, it always hurt, even if he knew that he'll meet him again, it hurt like it was the last time he'll see him.

Until it almost was.

It'd been a little before Kaori's death, when Gou met Ryousuke for the "last" time. Finding out as much as he could from Rin, Ryousuke had been in a relationship with Kaori. Hearing whatever else slander coming from Rin, made Gou hate Ryousuke, except for his heart, that still yearned for him. This divide between what his head thought and what his heart believed caused him to be more emotionally vulnerable than he liked to have been. But he eventually got it under control because he truly believed that he won't see Ryousuke again.

And now he's here, in front of him, looking as pretty as ever. His voice as soothing as it had been when he last heard it. He clenched his hand as he wondered if Ryousuke's hands were as soft like back then. He let out a loud sigh, which didn't go unnoticed by Kubo.

"You look like you have something against our opponents' leader." Kubo said.

"Yes and no, Kubo, I'm afraid it is too personal and long of a story to tell." Gou responded as he walked back to his car. Not in the mood to tell him about the homosexual thoughts flooding his mind once more. "I'm going home, you do what you want."

  
  


Gou was the only one back home. Not surprising, but tonight he was glad that that was the case. As he had driven home, his mind couldn't stop thinking about Ryousuke and how he looked. Oh, how he craved that man. What he'd do to him and what he'd let him do to him. Gou would give everything to have Ryousuke, even if for only one night.

All of those swirling homosexual thoughts made his blood run increasingly south. There was no fighting it. All he could do was to give in to his bubbling desires in the hopes of relieving the tension. As he was closing the lights and trying to find something along the lines of a lube, his pants were getting tighter around his waist.

Once he got what he was looking for, he could drop his pants down. The moment his cold fingers touched the semi-stiff member, a shiver ran through his spine and he was forced to slide down against the wall. The faster his hand started rocking back and forth, the harder it was to keep down the moans escaping his mouth. Each stroke, each twist, every pad of his fingers made his penis rise higher. Soon all he could say was Ryousuke’s name in varying pitches and syllables. Imagining that it was Ryousuke giving him the hand job and the coldness of the lube forced him to lean on the floor with his head. Cold contrasting the heat. Gou’s red contrasting Ryousuke’s blue. Anyone who would’ve seen Gou, could know how long he had been repressing the thoughts about Ryousuke and his wishes of being his and his only. 

The tension was beginning to bubble up around his crotch as he was going the fastest he could and enjoyed. His spit was drooling on the floor as his moans got louder. If only Ryousuke was here to shove his dick into Gou’s ass. Reaching to the open bottle of lube, he applied some on his other hand's fingers. He slowly circled his anus, the fresh coldness causing him to tense up even more, yelping as he begun to slide one finger inside. He paused for a moment, panting, before he begun wiggling it in his ass. Fuck, how he wanted Ryousuke inside him so bad. Everything was swirling so good inside him. It's been long, far too long since he had pleasured himself. He was breathing sharply, almost hissing, between each motion and moan. But that wasn't enough, he had to add another finger, he needed more girth to emulate Ryousuke's dick. A long and sharp moan accompanied that decision. It felt so good, and with the other hand around his penis, his mind was on the brink of a black out.

Few moments after releasing his load on the already messy floor, the realization of what he had done hit him. He had masturbated to the thought of Ryousuke, a man whom Rin hated and Gou himself believed to hate too. He hasn’t even dared to talk to him in years and here he was right now, in the mess of his self done love. How pathetic of him.

He raised himself to his wobbly feet in order to clean up himself and his room. He was covered in spit, cum and lube. Cleaning up the floor with tissues and a mop, he went to take a shower, it didn't matter to him that it was midnight. He just let the chilly water run down his back as he thought about that he’s gonna see Ryousuke again tomorrow. 

_‘It is now or never’_ he thought to himself. _‘I can’t go on like this, I can’t hide my feelings anymore, I have to talk to him again.’_


End file.
